How To Know If A Person Is Right For You As A Romantic Partner

Let’s face it — love is sweet o, until pepper enter am. That’s when you start asking yourself, “Wait, is this person even right for me?”

If you've ever sat in your room after an argument, looking at your partner’s WhatsApp DP and wondering if you’re dating the love of your life or your character development officer, this post is for you.

In this blog post, we’re going to unpack all the signs — both the sweet and the suspicious — that will help you know if you're in the right relationship with the right person. And yes, we’ll do it in a way that feels like gist between friends.

1. You Feel Safe — Emotionally and Physically

Safety isn’t just about walking down dark alleys or dodging Danfo buses on Third Mainland Bridge. It’s also about emotional safety.

Ask yourself:

• Can you be yourself without fear of being mocked or judged?

• Can you express how you feel without them getting angry or dismissive?

• Do you feel safe to be vulnerable?

If your answer to these is a solid “Yes,” congratulations, your partner is not a danger zone.

On the flip side, if you constantly walk on eggshells, if you're scared of expressing how you really feel, or if your partner ever gets violent (emotionally or physically), please, my dear, you don't need a prophet — this is not the one.

2. You Share Core Values

You don't have to like the same movies or love shawarma the same way (even though it helps). But your core values? Those need to align.

Core values are things like:

• How you view family

• Your stance on religion or faith

• Life ambitions and goals

• Attitude to money

• Relationship boundaries

If you want five kids and they want none, or you’re saving to build a future while they’re spending like a Lagos big boy every Friday night, ah, my sister/brother, talk things through. Don’t ignore big mismatches thinking “love will fix it.” Love is powerful, yes — but even love cannot make someone give up something they believe is part of their identity.

3. They Make You Feel Seen and Heard

There’s a special kind of joy in being with someone who gets you. Not someone who tolerates you or nods their head while scrolling through Instagram, but someone who genuinely listens, remembers the little things you say, and shows you that what matters to you matters to them too.

For example, if you tell your partner that you're nervous about a job interview and they text you later that day to ask how it went — that’s golden. If they always dismiss your feelings with "you're overthinking it" or "it's not that deep," run o! You need someone who validates your emotions, not one that gaslights you into confusion.

4. You Fight Well (Yes, Fighting is Normal!)

Wait, wait — before you close tab. Hear me out.

Every couple fights. That’s not the issue. The real question is: how do you fight?

Do your disagreements involve respectful conversations and actual resolutions? Or does it end in silent treatment, shouting matches, or threats to break up every market day?

When two people can argue without losing respect for each other, that’s a very good sign. You don’t always have to agree, but you must always treat each other with care — especially during conflict.

5. You Can Be Your Full, Unfiltered Self

Let’s be honest, some of us are weird. Maybe you like talking to your plant, or you randomly dance when you're alone. Whatever your "thing" is, the right person will make you feel even more comfortable being your unfiltered self.

You shouldn’t feel like you have to perform or shrink yourself to fit into what they like. The right person doesn’t want a filtered version of you — they want the raw, unedited footage. And they love it.

If you constantly feel like you’re pretending to keep the peace or to impress them, that’s a red flag waving like it’s at a campaign rally.

6. They Make Effort — Even in the Small Things

Love isn’t just about grand gestures. It's not everyday surprise trip to Zanzibar. Sometimes, it’s texting you when they know you’re anxious about something. Or learning how to pronounce your native name properly. Or staying up with you while you're working late.

The right person makes effort not because they have to, but because they want to. Love is a verb. And action speaks louder than data subscription.

7. You Both Want the Same Future

You can't be thinking about Japa plans while they’re dreaming of settling down in the village and opening a goat farm. Okay, maybe you can make that goat farm in Canada, but you get the point.

Talk about the future — early and often. Not in a “where is this relationship going?” interrogative style, but in a healthy, honest way. Do they want kids? Where do they want to live long-term? What do they believe about marriage roles, finances, career growth?

If your visions align — or you’re both willing to adjust for each other — then you’re cooking something strong.

8. Your Friends and Family Don’t Need to Do Deliverance

Now, I know love is between two people, not a committee. But still, don’t ignore the opinions of people who love you. They often see what you’re too emotionally invested to notice.

If your closest friends or your family (the sensible ones o!) are saying, “There’s something off about this person,” don’t just wave it off. Investigate. Ask yourself, “Am I blinded by love or am I genuinely happy here?”

Love is not supposed to isolate you. If you’re hiding your relationship from the people who love you, that’s a big clue something’s not right.

9. You Trust Each Other Deeply

Trust is the backbone of every healthy relationship. And I don’t just mean “you trust them not to cheat.” I mean:

• You trust their judgment

• You trust they have your back

• You trust they won’t embarrass you or put you in harm’s way

If you’re constantly checking their phone, questioning their every move, or feeling insecure because of how they behave — then maybe your trust issues are trying to tell you something.

A right partner gives you peace of mind, not high blood pressure.

10. They Bring Out the Best in You

This one is simple but powerful.

Do you feel inspired to grow, learn, and become a better person when you’re with them? Or are you slowly losing your spark?

The right person challenges you — not in a "why don’t you ever do anything right?!" way — but in a "you’re amazing and you can be even more" kind of way.

They believe in your dreams, even the crazy ones. They cheer for you. They hold your hand on the days when you don’t feel strong. That, my friend, is love that builds.

Final Thoughts

Knowing if someone is right for you isn’t about finding a perfect partner. Newsflash: perfection does not exist. You’re looking for someone whose imperfections you can live with, someone who makes life sweeter, not harder.

So, before you start designing wedding hashtags or giving yourself unnecessary heartbreak, take a moment to reflect. Do they make your life better or more stressful? Do they bring light into your world or dim your shine?

And remember, if you ever have to beg to be loved, respected, or prioritized — that person is not your person.

Love is not supposed to drain you. It should feel like home.

Let me know what signs you’ve seen in your relationship, we are waiting in the comment section!