Are Nigerian Parents Raising Emotionally Unavailable Adults?

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Many of us were raised to be strong… but not soft.

Disciplined… but not expressive.

Obedient… but not heard.

Now, we’re adults — and many of us struggle emotionally without even knowing why.

Growing up, you may have heard things like:

“Stop crying!”
“Are you a boy or a baby?”
“I don’t have time for your feelings.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
These weren’t just words — they shaped how we handle emotions today.

Love was provision, not affection.

“Did you eat?” replaced “How are you feeling?”

Hugs were rare. So were open conversations about our feelings.

So now, a lot of us:

Can’t express how we feel.
Struggle to open up in relationships.
Feel guilty asking for emotional support.
We weren’t taught how to feel, only how to endure.

This isn’t about blame.

Our parents did their best with what they had and what they knew.

But healing starts when we recognize what we missed — and choose to do better.

Ask yourself:

Why do I shut down during conflict?
Why does closeness feel uncomfortable?
Why do I find it hard to say, “I need help”?
- These questions open the door to emotional growth.
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Let’s raise children who feel safe to speak, not just afraid to disobey.

Let’s normalize emotional honesty, not just obedience and toughness.

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To everyone trying to reconnect with their feelings:

You’re not weak.

You’re healing.

And you deserve softness, too.

— #MindOfLucky