*2. COPIED DESIRE AND DEPENDENCY* *a. Copied Desire* When our wishes and desires are not instinctual, but we want to copy things around us. This is one of the major reasons for procrastination. Maybe there is no need for procrastinating if we do what resonate with us, but because what we want is not reliable and we need to meet up with an external standard, then we start procrastinating, since it's not what we really want. Most of us don’t like the iPhone, but in one way, we find ourselves using it because others use it. We don’t even like the course we are studying, but because it will make our parents proud, then we must do it. We don’t even like the job, but our friend works there. We don’t like watching and playing football, but just because our friends love it, we love it too. This is one of the foundations of procrastination. You listen to someone speak, and you feel motivated, you are inspired, and all of a sudden, you want to be like them, you want to inspire people too, but the problem is they are more knowledgeable, because they are constantly reading and attending seminars. So you decide to start reading too, like them, you feel motivated for the first week, you never miss a day, and you are excited. After a month of constant reading, you are given the opportunity to share an idea, but you forget everything you read, you don’t even remember a single thing, your presentation was bad, and you feel embarrassed. You got home, and you are ashamed of yourself, nobody even values your contribution, no encouragement and embracement. You slept and woke up the next morning. You feel reluctant to read, but you still try. The next day, you are not in the mood, you are not motivated, so you decide not to read, you promise to read tomorrow. Tomorrow comes, you still do not feel the energy, you postpone again till you stop reading. Initially, you feel like you are lazy and that the procrastination is a problem, but deep down, what you want is not the desire to be good personally, but a copied desire of someone, that you create in your head, and just because of the letdown you face once, you begin to drift till you forgo the desire. So when you find yourself in this stage of chronically procrastinating on something, then there’s a good chance that your brain is trying to tell you that you’re pursuing copied goals rather than authentic goals. That might be a sign that you are living other people’s lives, maybe your parent, your friends, your mentor or an influencer. So next time you have a burning desire, ask yourself, where do I get this idea from, is it my passion or a copied desire? If we lived in the 17th century, nobody would say their passion was becoming a content creator because that opportunity did not exist then. But today, because we constantly see people doing it online, many people quickly assume it is their passion too. That is why it is important to sit down, reflect, and truly discover what you genuinely enjoy and are naturally drawn to, instead of simply copying others and neglecting your real passion.
