*2. COPIED DESIRE AND DEPENDENCY* *b. Dependency* Dependency is the mindset of always waiting for someone or something to come and save you. Imagine a student refusing to study simply because the exam timetable is not yet out. Why not start your preparation now? But instead, the excuses begin: “The exam is still far,” “The timetable is not out yet,” or “I’m waiting for my friend so we can read together.” And dependency is not only about depending on people. There are many things people hide behind as excuses to procrastinate. Why are you not taking your academics seriously? “The government is bad.” “There are no jobs after school.” But are you really going to commit your entire future to the hands of the government? Why not pursue your dreams? “My parents will not support me.” It is alarming how many adult infants exist today, people who cannot make decisions or take action unless someone else approves, supports, or moves first. Many people already have dreams, passions, and even a clear vision of their future, but dependency causes them to procrastinate until time slips away. The truth is that many things can influence our decisions, but we must learn to maintain balance and think beyond our circumstances. I remember one of my uncles once posted that “You don’t make plans in Nigeria; Nigeria makes plans for you.” For a moment, I agreed with him until I realize that is pessimism working on me. To some extent, he’s not wrong; the country is difficult. But the real question is: should I sit and wait for Nigeria to decide my fate? Should the condition of the country completely control my decisions and my future? That is one of the reasons Making It Big is often criticised. Many people immediately argue that Otedola became successful only because his father was wealthy, or that Aliko Dangote succeeded because his grandfather was rich. But sometimes, that mindset itself reflects dependency and defeated life. Yes, background and privilege can give some people advantages, but if your father was poor, does that automatically mean that you must remain poor? The moment you begin to use comparisons and excuses as the final reason you cannot succeed, you are already choosing the same path you claim to dislike. You are already surrendering before even trying, and failure quietly begins to sit at your door. Not every lesson from books, podcasts, or successful people are applicable to our life immediately. Some advice may not fit your current stage, environment, or resources. But success is a continuous journey of learning, adapting, and growing. That is why you must learn to pick relevant information, apply what you can, and remain a student of life. Instead of spending all your energy proving why something cannot work for you, spend more time asking yourself what you can still do with the little you have with depending on others. The goal is not to copy another person’s journey exactly, but to develop your own path with wisdom, consistency, and action. Anyone can complain and criticise, but that should not become the foundation of our dependency or the excuse for our inaction or failure.
