The man who pretended to understand English in the interview 😂💼 It was a hot Thursday morning at a large office building in Lagos. Dozens of job applicants sat nervously in the waiting room. Some were revising notes. Some were practicing “Tell us about yourself.” And some were praying silently like their destiny depended on one handshake. Among them sat Ejiro. Now Ejiro had confidence. Massive confidence. Unfortunately, his English grammar sometimes behaved like unstable network. But he had one rule in life: Never admit you don’t understand. The receptionist finally called his name. “Mr. Ejiro, they’re ready for you.” He adjusted his tie, inhaled deeply, and walked into the interview room like a motivational speaker entering a seminar. Three interviewers sat across the table. Serious faces. Open laptops. No smiles. The chairman nodded politely. “Please, have a seat.” Ejiro smiled. “Thank you for the opportunitying.” The interviewers paused briefly… but continued. The first few questions went smoothly. “What experience do you have?” “Can you work under pressure?” “Why should we hire you?” Ejiro answered everything with dangerous confidence. Sometimes correct. Sometimes spiritually correct. Then the chairman asked the fatal question. “Mr. Ejiro, are you familiar with Microsoft Excel?” Ejiro had never used Excel in his life. But instead of admitting it, he smiled boldly. “Yes sir, very fluent.” 😌 The chairman nodded. “Excellent.” He rotated a laptop toward Ejiro. “Please demonstrate your proficiency.” Immediately, Ejiro’s soul left his body. 😭 The screen displayed rows, columns, formulas, and buttons that looked like aircraft controls. But he refused to panic publicly. He touched the mouse carefully. Clicked one random cell. Everything still looked dangerous. The interviewers watched silently. Ejiro cleared his throat. “Actually sir… before I proceed… which version of Excel is this?” The chairman frowned slightly. “Microsoft Excel.” Ejiro nodded slowly like a scientist analyzing evidence. “Hmm. I suspected as much.” He clicked again. Accidentally highlighted the entire spreadsheet. Panic increased. One interviewer leaned forward. “Are you okay?” Ejiro smiled painfully. “Yes sir. Just optimizing.” The interviewers exchanged glances. Then disaster struck. He accidentally opened a chart and somehow rotated it upside down. 😳 Now the screen looked like a financial earthquake. The chairman removed his glasses slowly. “Mr. Ejiro…” “Yes sir?” “What exactly are you doing?” Long silence. Ejiro sighed deeply. Then finally confessed: “To be honest sir… I only know Microsoft Word.” 😭 Dead silence. Then one interviewer burst out laughing. Another covered her mouth. Even the chairman started shaking. The room exploded. 🤣🤣🤣 Ejiro lowered his head in defeat. “I thought Excel and Word were cousins.” That finished everybody completely. 😂 The chairman wiped tears from his eyes. “At least you are honest now.” To Ejiro’s surprise, they didn’t insult him. Instead, the chairman said: “You know what? We can train skills. But confidence like this is rare.” Ejiro blinked. “Sir… does that mean I got the job?” The chairman smiled. “We’ll call you.” Outside the room, Ejiro whispered to himself: “Next time… I will learn the cousins first.” 😂 LESSONS: Never pretend to know what you don’t know. Confidence is good, but preparation is better. And Microsoft Word and Excel are not the same family member. 🤣💼💻
