Funny Things You Hear in Nigerian Banks

1. *“Are you sure you want to withdraw all your money?”* The teller’s way of saying, “You serious?” 😅

2. “Your account balance is… low, very low.” Official bank alert but feels like a personal insult.

3. *“Please come closer to the microphone, we can’t hear you.”* Every. Single. Time.

4. *“Your transaction is processing, please wait… and wait… and wait.”* Patience is a Nigerian virtue.

5. *“This ATM is eating your card.”* A classic Nigerian horror story.

6. *“Please fill this form in triplicate, sign with blue and black ink.”* Paperwork drama level: Expert.

7. *“You have been randomly selected for a survey… press 1 to continue.”* AKA the never-ending phone call.

8. *“Our system is down, please try again later.”* — Translation: Come back tomorrow (or never).

9. *“No selfie zone”* The struggle to look professional while standing in a long queue.

10. Thank you for banking with us. Please come again. The ultimate irony after hours of waiting.

Banks in Nigeria? Comedy gold every day! 😂🏦