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Funny Things You Hear in Nigerian Banks

General 57 days ago
  • User
    Zainab
    57 days ago

    1. *“Are you sure you want to withdraw all your money?”* The teller’s way of saying, “You serious?” 😅

    2. “Your account balance is… low, very low.” Official bank alert but feels like a personal insult.  

    3. *“Please come closer to the microphone, we can’t hear you.”* Every. Single. Time.  

    4. *“Your transaction is processing, please wait… and wait… and wait.”* Patience is a Nigerian virtue.  

    5. *“This ATM is eating your card.”* A classic Nigerian horror story.  

    6. *“Please fill this form in triplicate, sign with blue and black ink.”* Paperwork drama level: Expert.  

    7. *“You have been randomly selected for a survey… press 1 to continue.”* AKA the never-ending phone call.  

    8. *“Our system is down, please try again later.”* — Translation: Come back tomorrow (or never).  

    9. *“No selfie zone”* The struggle to look professional while standing in a long queue.  

    10. Thank you for banking with us. Please come again. The ultimate irony after hours of waiting.  

    Banks in Nigeria? Comedy gold every day! 😂🏦

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