📚 How I Graduated Without Ever Being a Student” — A Tragicomedy of Mistaken Identity

I was called “Graduate Titus” before I even paid my acceptance fee.

My village believed in me more than JAMB did.

On the day of convocation, I wore a borrowed gown.

My cousin, the real graduate, had malaria. So I stood in… to collect his degree.

The crowd cheered.

Mama wept. Uncle Ben promised me a job at the ministry.

Even my ex sent "I’m proud of you, please reply my DM."

But then…

The Dean read the name aloud: “Emmanuel Chibuzo Bright.”

Silence.

Mama turned. "Your middle name is Chibuzo?" It wasn’t.

I ran. Down the stairs. Past the press.

Straight into a muddy gutter that clapped louder than the audience.

Now, I’m the only non-student in Nigeria who has a frame of a degree he didn’t earn and a limp from jumping over faculty fences.

My mother still tells people I studied “Creative Running.”

And honestly?

She’s not wrong.

🎓🏃🏾‍♂️💔😂