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š How I Graduated Without Ever Being a Studentā ā A Tragicomedy of Mistaken Identity
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Linksmarx
122 days agoI was called āGraduate Titusā before I even paid my acceptance fee.
My village believed in me more than JAMB did.
On the day of convocation, I wore a borrowed gown.
My cousin, the real graduate, had malaria.Ā So I stood inā¦ to collect his degree.
The crowd cheered.
Mama wept.Ā Uncle Ben promised me a job at the ministry.
Even my ex sent "Iām proud of you, please reply my DM."
But thenā¦
The Dean read the name aloud:Ā āEmmanuel Chibuzo Bright.ā
Silence.
Mama turned.Ā "Your middle name is Chibuzo?"Ā It wasnāt.
I ran.Ā Down the stairs. Past the press.
Straight into a muddy gutter that clapped louder than the audience.
Now, Iām the only non-student in Nigeria who has a frame of a degree he didnāt earn and a limp from jumping over faculty fences.
My mother still tells people I studied āCreative Running.ā
And honestly?
Sheās not wrong.
ššš¾āāļøšš
Ā