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How to Stop Collecting Breakfast and Start Collecting Bank Alerts 😎💔💸

Lifestyle 12 hrs ago
  • User
    Migzyonline
    12 hrs ago

    Tired of heartbreak?  

    Bro, it’s time to stop collecting breakfast and start collecting **bank alerts**. 👇🏾

     

    1. **Date With ROI in Mind**  

    Ask her: “What’s your monthly net value to my life?”  

    No value? BLOCK!

     

    2. **Be the Soft Life She’s Dreaming Of… But for Yourself First**  

    Self-love is real. Buy yourself suya, send yourself airtime.  

    Spoil yourself before any girl spoils your future.

     

    3. **Don’t Fall in Love Without WiFi**  

    Make sure she has stable internet. Why?  

    So she won’t say “I didn’t see your message” while texting 3 other guys. 😭

     

    4. **Turn Your Pain into Passive Income**  

    Start a heartbreak podcast:  

    *“Tales from the Left Side of Her DM”* 🎙️  

    Even if she left, your trauma go feed you.

     

    5. **Forget ‘I Love You’, Ask ‘Can You Invest in Me?’**  

    If she no fit run ₦2k data, bros, run away.

     

    6. **Use Voice Notes as Content**  

    That “I miss you” she sent?  

    Turn it to a TikTok skit. Make am trend. Make am pay. 😂

     

    7. **Never Love More Than Your Hustle**  

    If she leaves, your account balance shouldn’t cry with you.

     

    💬 Tag your guy that always dey fall for “Hey boo 🥺”  

    Let him turn to a live breathing cash machine instead!

     

    Follow **@MigzyOnline** for more heartbreak survival strategies. 💀💰

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