This is the most shameful thing I have ever admitted. My wife hits me. Regularly. She throws plates. She slaps me. Last month, she broke a bottle against the wall during an argument about her g@mbling habit. The shards cut my arm. I have scars that I hide with long sleeves. When I told my best friend, he laughed. "Guy, you mean you dey fear woman?" When I told my pastor, he said I should "pray more and be a better leader." When I told my mother, she said, "A woman cannot beat a man unless the man is weak. Are you weak?" Yes, Mama. I am weak. I am 5'7". She is 5'9" and was a university athlete. I am not a fighter. I am a software developer who hates conflict. The police? Don't make me laugh. I went to a station in Abuja once. The officer asked, "Oga, you be woman?" Then he asked what I did to provoke her. Because in Nigeria, male victims of domestic violēnce are comedy skits, not human beings. We are told to "man up." We are told that a woman cannot truly harm a man. Tell that to my swollen lip. Tell that to my insomnia. I am not writing this for pity. I am writing this because there are men in silent hell, trapped by shame and societal mockery. We need to expand the conversation. Violēnce has no gender. Pain has no gender. A home should be safe for everyone. Men, have you ever experienced abuse and felt unable to speak? Women, do you believe men can be genuine victims, or is there always an assumption of provocation? Let's change the narrative.
