This might sound petty to some of you, but I am fuming and I need to know if I am wrong. I am a health-conscious mother. I don't allow processed meat, soft drinks, or excessive oil in my children's diet. My kids, aged 7 and 5, have never tasted Coke. They eat vegetables. They drink water and homemade zobo. I have read every parenting book from What to Expect to Nigerian nutrition guidelines. I am raising them to have discipline and healthy bodies. Last Friday, my daughter let it slip. "Daddy took us to the mallam for special Friday meat. It's our secret." I felt my blood run cold. I confronted my husband, and he admitted it. For the past eight months, every Friday when I am at my yoga class, he has been buying them suya, Pepsi, and sometimes even small chops from that aboki near our estate. He said they "deserve to enjoy childhood" and that I am "too extreme." Too extreme? I am protecting them from diabetes, obesity, and the health issues that run in his family! His own father died from complications of diabetes at 58. His mother is hypertensive. These genes are real, and diet is the only weapon we have. He says I am "robbing them of joy." I say I am saving their lives. Now he is calling me a controlling wife who doesn't let her children "be children." He has turned my own children against me. They now hide things from me. They think Daddy is the "fun one" and Mummy is the "wicked police." I am heartbroken. I am not wicked — I am invested. I spent three hours yesterday blending spinach into their pancakes so they would get iron without knowing it. Does he think that is easy? Is a mother's control over her children's diet a form of love, or am I actually becoming a dictator? Fathers, do you secretly undermine your wives' rules? And is suya really worth breaking marital trust over? I need perspectives.
