I know this will generate heat, but I need mothers to understand my trauma. I hired a 17-year-old girl from Imo State to help with my newborn while I returned to work. She was quiet, respectful, and seemed grateful. For three months, she was a blessing. Then one Saturday, I came home early from a meeting and found her breastfeeding my 4-month-old son. My own breast milk was in the fridge. She chose her breast instead. I screamed. I nearly slapped her. I called her madam immediately. She said the baby was crying and she "just wanted to comfort him." Comfort him? With her body? Without permission? I did not care about her intentions. I cared about boundaries, health risks, and the violation of my motherhood. I sent her back that same day. Paid her transport. Blocked her number. My mother-in-law said I was wicked. "She was just being motherly. Village girls don't know boundaries." But that is exactly the problem. She is not the mother. I am. And "village girl" is not an excuse for crossing lines that should be obvious to any human being. We romanticize domestic help in Nigeria. We call them "part of the family" while paying them slave wages. But they are employees, not relatives. And my baby's body is not a comfort tool for anyone but his parents. Was I too harsh? Or are Nigerian parents too relaxed about boundaries with house help? Mothers, what would you have done in my place? Let's talk.
