😂 The Day My Cousin Opened a “Professional Apology Service” 😭📞 My cousin Seyi is one of the smartest unemployed people I know. Every week, he comes up with a new business idea. One week it was snail farming. The next week it was motivational speaking. The problem was that he had never motivated anybody, including himself. 😂😂😂 Then one morning he called me. "Cousin, I have found the future." I became nervous immediately. Every time he says that, somebody suffers. 💀 "What is it this time?" He lowered his voice. "Professional Apology Service." 😳 I blinked. "What?" He smiled proudly. "If people can hire lawyers, why can't they hire apologizers?" 😭😂😂😂 Apparently, his plan was simple. If you offended somebody and were too afraid to apologize yourself... ...you could hire Seyi. He would apologize on your behalf. 💀 Against all logic, people started calling. His first client was a man who forgot his wedding anniversary. A dangerous mistake. The man paid Seyi ₦5,000. "Please save my marriage." 😂 Seyi arrived at the woman's house carrying flowers. He cleared his throat dramatically. "Madam, my client regrets his actions." The woman folded her arms. "Which client?" "Your husband." "Tell him I am angry." Seyi opened his notebook. "I have written that down." 😭😂 "Tell him I am disappointed." "Noted." "Tell him he is sleeping in the sitting room." "Understood." 💀💀💀 He returned to the husband. "Good news and bad news." "What is the good news?" "She listened." "And the bad news?" "Bring blanket." 😂😂😂 Word spread quickly. Soon his phone never stopped ringing. One man hired him after eating his roommate's food. One woman hired him after accidentally sending a gossip message to the person she was gossiping about. 😭😂 That particular case nearly became a national emergency. Then came the biggest client yet. A local businessman. Apparently, he had borrowed money from five different people and forgotten to pay any of them. 💀 He hired Seyi to apologize to everyone. Seyi spent the entire day moving from house to house. "I'm here on behalf of Mr. Ade." The first creditor nodded. "Okay." The second creditor nodded. "Fine." The third creditor nodded. "Understood." The fourth creditor said: "Where is my money?" 😂 The fifth creditor said: "Wait." Then he joined the fourth creditor. 😭 Before long, all five creditors were standing together. Seyi suddenly realized something terrible. They all wanted the same person. 💀💀💀 "Where is Mr. Ade?" Seyi panicked. "I am only the apology department!" 😭😂😂😂 The creditors started following him. Seyi ran. They ran. He jumped over a gutter. They jumped over the gutter. People thought a marathon was taking place. 🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️ By evening, Seyi was hiding behind a kiosk. Sweating. Breathing heavily. Questioning every life decision. 😂 The next morning, his business signboard had changed. Instead of: PROFESSIONAL APOLOGY SERVICE It now read: PROFESSIONAL ADVICE SERVICE I asked him why. He sighed deeply. "Apologies are dangerous." "What advice do you give now?" He looked me straight in the eye. "Don't owe people money." 💀😭😂😂😂 🤣 Funny Lesson: Some problems can be solved with an apology. Others require an apology and the actual thing you owe. 😂💸📞 Go to bed with a smile on your face
