The bride spent ₦5 million on her wedding. The aunties spent ₦0. But guess who gets the most attention? Nigerian wedding aunties are the original content creators. They arrive in geles taller than their dreams. They dance harder than the couple. They judge the jollof with the intensity of food critics. They find faults in decorations they didn't pay for. "The chair cover is cream, not ivory. This marriage is already stressed." And the photography! They will block the professional photographer to take their own pictures with iPhone 6. They will pose in front of the couple's backdrop for 20 minutes. They will upload before the bride does with captions like "My daughter's friend got married today. So happy for them!" The reception entrance is their runway. They don't walk in; they make an entrance. The DJ must recognize them. The MC must greet them. The caterer must serve them first or face spiritual consequences. They didn't contribute to the wedding fund, but they own the event. And the advice! During the reception, they corner the bride. "Don't let him control you." "Make sure you cook every day." "Don't wear trousers in his house." The marriage counseling happens in real-time, unsolicited, and loud enough for the microphone to pick up. Which auntie behavior at Nigerian weddings annoys you most? And have you ever seen an auntie outshine the actual bride?
