Nigerian breakups are not events; they are processes. First, the fight. Then, the "break." Then, the "let's talk." Then, the getting back together. Then, the second fight. Then, the social media subposts. Then, the friends get involved. Then, the "I miss you" text at 2 AM. Then, the final final breakup. Then, the "are they dating someone new?" investigation. It takes six months to a year to fully extract yourself. The shared friends make it worse. The same church makes it worse. The "we have history" argument keeps pulling you back. Nigerian breakups require closure ceremonies that never happen. How many "final" breakups did it take to actually end your last relationship? And what's the longest post-breakup confusion you've endured?
