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The Coffin That Refused the Grave
Literature
20 hrs ago
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Esther
20 hrs ago“When even a dead man refuses to be near your gossip, maybe it’s time to change.” 😂
In Ndielo village, Pa Enebeli was known for two things: his love for pepper soup and his hatred for people touching his walking stick. At 97, the old man finally kicked the bucket—though some say he just took a long nap and forgot to wake up.
His children fought for days over who would bury him where. His first son, Sunday, said the old man wanted to be buried next to his goat. His daughter, Ngozi, claimed it was under the mango tree “where he used to fart and blame spirits.”
Eventually, they agreed—behind the kitchen.
They bought an expensive coffin, decorated it with lace and tiny battery-powered lights (courtesy of Emeka’s trip to Onitsha). The village DJ even offered to play "Abobi you too much" as background music for the funeral.
But as the pallbearers lifted the coffin to the grave, it moved.
One of them screamed, “Jesu!” and dropped it. The coffin rolled to the side and landed beside the cooking spot.
Then it vibrated. Like a Nokia phone from 2003.
A faint voice echoed:
> "Not here, abeg!"
The mourners scattered. The pastor started speaking in tongues. Mama Ekene, who came just for the jollof rice, fainted before tasting anything.
The village elders gathered. One suggested it was the ghost of Pa Enebeli angry at the location. Another said it was just gas trapped in the coffin.
Chief Amadi, who came dressed in agbada three sizes too big, declared:
> “Let’s bury him fast before he decides to come back.”
They moved the coffin again — to behind the bathroom. The coffin refused. They tried the family compound gate. The coffin flipped. Finally, they remembered something:
Pa Enebeli used to say, “When I die, don’t put me near where people gossip. I didn’t like them when I was alive, and I won’t start now.”
That’s when they realized…
The kitchen area was right next to Mama Chinwe’s kiosk, the local gossip headquarters.
So they moved the grave far behind the yam barn.
The coffin? Still. Silent. Peaceful.
They buried him there, right between two plantains. And for the first time in village history, a funeral ended early.
Well, almost. The DJ still played “Abobi you too much” during the reception. And a chicken ran off with Pa Enebeli’s cap.
No one chased it.
They knew better.
#VillageDrama #DarkComedyAfrica #FictionThread #KonnectAfricaStories #NaijaFiction #CoffinSaga #BurialGoneWrong #AfricanHumour #ThirdPersonFiction #StoryTimeAfrica