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: The Day I Tried to “Fake Fall” During Deliverance but God Exposed Me 💀🙆

Entertainment 16 hrs ago
  • User
    Peterdemian Nzube
    16 hrs ago

    1. 

     

    Nobody should judge me. I was young, broke, and desperate.

    All I wanted was one breakthrough prophecy.

    But the day I faked deliverance fall…

    God said, “You want drama? Take FULL SEASON.” 👇

     

    2. 

     

    So I went to this powerful prophetic church.

    They say once the pastor prays for you, your destiny resets like MTN sim card.

    I said okay na. I wore white and oiled my forehead well.

     

    3. 

     

    They called “first-timers” to the front.

    The pastor shouted, “You! Come here. Your enemies are using your name to cook ogbono in the spirit.”

    AH. Me?!

     

    I don’t even like ogbono in real life, sir 😭

     

    4. 

     

    He laid hands on me.

    Nothing happened.

    He said, “Fall under the anointing!”

    I blinked. Still standing.

     

    One usher came and whispered,

    “Bros, fall. Don’t disgrace us.” 😭😭😭

     

    5. 

     

    So I fell. But gently.

    I used slow motion like Nollywood actress.

    I even turned sideways to land on clean carpet.

    That’s when wahala started.

     

    6. 

     

    The pastor screamed,

    “YES! He is manifesting!”

    Next thing—he poured 1 full bottle of anointing oil on my forehead like zobo.

     

    I opened one eye. Even Jesus didn’t use this much oil. 😭

     

    7. 

     

    Then came the shaking…

    One usher shouted, “Roll! Roll like thunder!”

    Bro, I’m not thunder, I’m Uche from Enugu 😭

     

    But I rolled small just to complete the drama.

     

    8. 

     

    Then they said, “He’s not free yet. Bring holy water!”

    Wait, what? I just fell for social reasons ooo!

    Before I could stand up, they had tied my waist with white cloth. Deliverance had turned to full African wrestling.

     

    9. 

     

    At that point, I tried to tap out like WWE.

    I whispered, “I’m fine now. The demon is gone.”

    They said, “That’s the demon speaking!”

    AH! Even me, I don’t believe in me again 😭

     

    10. 

     

    They pushed me back to the floor.

    “Spirit of delay, OUT!”

    I said, “I'm delayed because I’ve been on this floor for 2 hours!”

     

    But nobody listened. I had become the church drama for the day.

     

    11. 

     

    After the service, one mama came to me and said:

    “You were really possessed. Your demon is stubborn!”

    I smiled and said, “No ma. It was hunger that was stubborn.” 😩

     

    12. 

     

    Till today, my knees still remember that holy fall.

    And the anointing oil stained my white shirt permanently.

    I looked like I fought suya with no wrapper.

     

     

    ---

     

    💬 Bonus Tweet (Thread Ender):

     

    Moral lesson:

    If you want to fake deliverance, make sure you have fuel for the full drama.

    Holy Ghost doesn’t do part-time acting

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