If there is one thing Nigerians love more than food, it is village WhatsApp groups. Our own group was called "Umuofia Progressive Family Forum". Every morning, somebody would post: "Good morning great family 🌹🌹🌹." Then 97 people would reply: "Amen." One Tuesday morning, everything changed. At exactly 6:12 AM, our village chairman, Uncle Nwankwo, posted: "WHO STOLE MY GOAT?" 😡🐐 The group immediately woke up. Aunty Ngozi: "Which goat?" Chairman: "The white one." Uncle Emma: "Maybe it wandered away." Chairman: "It did not wander away. Somebody kidnapped it." The tension rose immediately. Then Chairman dropped a bombshell. "The goat was last seen near Mr. Okeke's compound." 💥💥💥 Mr. Okeke entered the group. "Are you accusing me?" Chairman: "I am not accusing you. I am simply stating facts." Mr. Okeke: "State facts somewhere else." 😂😂😂 Within ten minutes, the group turned into a courtroom. One side supported Chairman. The other side supported Okeke. Some people didn't even know what happened but were fighting passionately. Then our village youth leader sent a voice note. "My people, calm down. We shall investigate scientifically." Scientifically? 😂 What science was available in a village goat case? But the investigation began. Pictures were taken. Footprints were examined. Witnesses were questioned. Then around noon, another twist happened. Chairman suddenly posted: "I have discovered fresh evidence." Everyone rushed online. He uploaded a blurry picture. Nobody could understand anything. Aunty Ngozi zoomed in. Uncle Emma zoomed in. Even the youth leader zoomed in. Finally one elder said: "That picture looks like a mattress." 😂😂😂 Chairman replied: "Exactly. The goat was sleeping beside that mattress yesterday." Nobody knew how that helped. Then at 4 PM, just when the group was about to explode, Chairman's grandson entered. "Grandpa, should I tell them?" Chairman: "Tell us what?" Grandson: "The goat is here." Silence. Complete silence. Chairman: "Where?" Grandson: "Behind our kitchen." 😳😳😳 The entire group froze. Chairman rushed offline. Five minutes later he returned. "Family, the goat has been found." Mr. Okeke immediately typed: "Scientifically?" 😂😂😂 The youth leader added: "After extensive forensic investigations." Aunty Ngozi: "Justice for the falsely accused." Even the pastor joined: *"Let us close this matter in prayer." 🙏 But Mr. Okeke wasn't finished. He changed the group description to: "Official Association of Missing and Found Goats." 🐐😂 For three months nobody removed it. 🤣 Funny Lesson: Before accusing people, first check behind your kitchen. In Nigeria, 90% of mysteries disappear once somebody actually looks properly. 👀🐐😂
