In Nigeria, we do not ghost people abruptly. We ghost them gradually, politely, and with plausible deniability. It starts with "I dey come." Then "I dey road." Then "Traffic dey." Then "I go call you back." The call never comes. The next day, you send a message. They reply after six hours with "Sorry, I slept." You suggest another time. They say "No wahala, I go show." They do not show. You wait three days. You call again. They say "Ah, I forgot, make we do next week." Next week becomes next month. Next month becomes never. This is the Nigerian slow ghost. It is not cruel; it is cultural. Direct rejection is rude. Saying "I don't want to see you" is harsh. So we fade. We delay. We reschedule into infinity. The other person gets the message eventually. Or they don't. The ambiguity is the point. And the irony! The person doing the ghosting often believes they are being nice. "I didn't want to hurt their feelings." Meanwhile, the ghosted person has spent weeks waiting, hoping, and making excuses for them. The kindness is actually cruelty in slow motion. The only way to confirm a Nigerian ghost is to stop reaching out. If they don't reach back, the ghost is confirmed. If they do, the cycle begins again. Have you been slow-ghosted, or are you the ghost? And what's the longest "I dey come" you've ever given or received?
