"I dey look you" is the Nigerian threat that requires no further explanation. It is said by parents to children. By bosses to employees. By spouses to each other. The phrase means: I am watching. I see what you are doing. I am giving you rope to hang yourself. The "looking" is not supportive. It is surveillance with consequences. The parent says it when the child starts keeping bad company. The boss says it when the employee's performance drops. The spouse says it when trust is fraying. It is the calm before the storm. The warning that punishment is delayed, not denied. And the anxiety! The person being watched performs differently. They overcompensate. They hide more carefully. They become paranoid. The "I dey look you" creates the behavior it fears. The watched becomes the actor. The authentic self disappears under performance. But sometimes it is protective. The parent who watches to catch a child before they fall. The friend who watches to intervene before disaster. The "looking" is love disguised as threat. Has anyone told you "I dey look you"? And did it change your behavior, or just your anxiety levels?
