Their bio says "Peace lover. No drama. Positive vibes only." Their reality? A Netflix series of chaos. Season 1: The Friendship Betrayal. Season 2: The Workplace... Season 3: The Family Feud. Season 4: The Return of the Ex. And they're the protagonist in every season. The writer. The director. The executive producer. The "I don't like drama" person doesn't attract drama. They manufacture it. They see a peaceful room and think "this needs tension." They hear a neutral statement and interpret it as a conflict. They exist in a perpetual state of "you won't believe what just happened" because they won't stop creating things to disbelieve. And the storytelling! Every incident is epic. Every slight is traumatic. Every misunderstanding is a "toxic" relationship. The vocabulary is clinical: "narcissist," "gaslighting," "boundaries," "triggered." The words are real. The application is creative. The friends rotate. The old friends are "toxic." The new friends are "my real ones." Until they're not. Until they become "toxic" too. The cycle is sustainable because the supply of potential victims is infinite. The "I don't like drama" person never runs out of people to dramatize with. But the engagement! Their posts get comments. Their stories get views. Their trauma gets validation. The drama is content. The content is identity. Without it, who are they? Do you know a "no drama" drama factory? And have you ever been cast in their show?