"I'm independent. I handle my own. I don't need anyone." The anthem of the wounded. The mantra of the abandoned. The performance of someone who needed someone, didn't get them, and decided needing was the problem. Nigerian independence culture is trauma dressed as strength. The child who raised themselves because parents were absent. The adult who never asks for help because help was never available. The friend who never leans because leaning led to falling. The independence is not choice. It's survival strategy that became identity. And the loneliness! The person who "doesn't need anyone" is often the most in need. They just can't say it. They can't admit it. They can't risk the vulnerability that need requires. So they suffer silently. They struggle alone. They post "grateful for solitude" while crying in their car. The irony! Everyone needs someone. The billionaire needs staff. The president needs advisors. The pastor needs congregation. Independence is a myth. Interdependence is reality. The person who "doesn't need anyone" is not strong. They're just isolated. But the healing! When someone finally breaks through. When someone insists on showing up. When someone says "I know you said you don't need help, but I'm here anyway." The wall cracks. The need surfaces. The human emerges. And it's beautiful. Are you truly independent, or independently wounded? And who broke through your wall?
