You got the promotion. You posted the announcement. They commented "So happy for you! 🔥" with three fire emojis. Then they texted your mutual friend: "Who did she sleep with?" The jealous friend is a Nigerian institution. They're not enemies. They're not strangers. They're the people closest to you, sitting on your couch, eating your rice, plotting your downfall in group chats you don't know exist. And the performance! The "I'm so proud of you" that sounds like a eulogy. The "you deserve it" that implies you didn't earn it. The "let's celebrate" that never actually happens because they're "busy" the day you choose. The support is theatrical. The sabotage is subtle. The signs are there if you look. They forget to congratulate you until someone else does. They bring up your failures when you discuss your wins. They compare your success to someone else's "better" success. "That's nice, but did you hear what Chidi did?" Chidi is always doing something better. Chidi is their weapon. But the self-awareness! Some of us are the jealous friend. We don't admit it. We don't confront it. We just feel that tightness in our chest when someone we love wins. We smile through it. We comment through it. We don't like ourselves for it. The jealousy is human. The denial is toxic. Have you had a jealous friend? Or been one? And how did you handle it — or hide it?
