"Let me call you back." Five words. One meaning: I will never call you back. This is the most polite rejection in Nigerian communication. It's not a promise. It's a social contract that both parties sign knowing it's false. You say it. They hear it. Nobody believes it. But we all pretend. The "let me call you back" has variants: "Let me call you back" = I'm actively avoiding you. "I'll call you right back" = I'm watching a movie and you're interrupting. "Give me five minutes" = Give me five years. "I'm in a meeting" = I'm in bed scrolling Twitter. And the worst: the person who actually calls back. The overachiever. The anomaly. They ruin the system for everyone. Now when someone says "let me call you back," there's a 0.3% chance they mean it. That 0.3% keeps hope alive. That 0.3% is why we answer the phone at all. The psychology is beautiful. By saying "let me call you back," the rejecter maintains politeness. The rejected maintains dignity. Nobody has to say "I don't want to talk to you." The fiction preserves the relationship. The relationship is built on mutual ghosting. But the pain! When you actually need them to call back. When it's urgent. When you said "let me call you back" because you genuinely couldn't talk, and now they're not picking up because they think you're lying. The system collapses. Trust dies. Communication fails. Who owes you the most "let me call you back" callbacks? And are you the liar or the lied to?
