January 1st, you create a budget. "This year, I will save 50% of my income." December 1st, you create a different spreadsheet. "How many events can I attend with ₦200,000?" The Detty December spreadsheet is a work of fiction. It includes categories like "Transport: ₦20,000" when you know one Uber to Lekki is ₦8,000. "Food: ₦15,000" when one brunch is ₦12,000. "Gifts: ₦10,000" when your family alone requires ₦50,000. The spreadsheet is not planning; it is denial with Excel formatting. And the revisions! By December 15th, the spreadsheet is abandoned. By December 20th, you are using credit. By December 28th, you are borrowing from January's salary. By January 5th, you are creating a "Debt Recovery Plan" spreadsheet. The cycle is annual. The learning is zero. But the creativity! Nigerians have invented financial instruments for December. The "ajo" contribution you cash out early. The "thrift" you borrow against. The "sell something" plan where you list items you haven't used since 2022. The Detty December economy is innovation under pressure. The best part? Next year's spreadsheet will look identical. The hope is permanent. The math is impossible. The December is always detty. Have you ever created a Detty December budget that actually worked? Or do you just accept the January pain?
