Detty December starts with promise. Ends with prayer. And January is where dreams go to die. You started December strong. The first party? Iconic. Your outfit was fire. Your dance moves were remembered. You spent money you didn't have with the confidence of someone who "goes soon blow." By December 15th, you were at four events per weekend. Sleep was a myth. Your liver filed a complaint. Your bank account sent a cease and desist. The peak is Christmas week. You are everywhere. Your family village. Your friend's house. The beach. The club. The church crossover night where you prayed for prosperity while checking your depleted account balance. You entered the new year with hope and a hangover. Then January arrived. The bills. The reality. The "I need to be more disciplined" declarations. The same declarations you made last January. The Detty December hangover is financial, physical, and spiritual. You are broke, tired, and vaguely ashamed. But the photos! The photos are eternal. Your Instagram is a museum of a life you no longer live. The comments say "Goals!" You want to reply "Bills!" but you maintain the illusion. Soft life is a full-time performance, and January is the backstage where the actor cries. How dirty was your last Detty December? And what's your January recovery strategy — or do you just repeat the cycle?
