She wakes at 5 AM. I sleep at 5 AM. We are not compatible. We are not roommates. We are time zone neighbors in the same house, and the border is always in conflict. At 5:15 AM, she starts. The clanging pots. The humming hymns. The sweeping that sounds like construction. The "Good morning!" shouted with the volume of a stadium announcement. I am not awake. I am being woken by force. This is not a morning greeting. This is an auditory assault. At 2 AM, I start. The phone light. The typing. The occasional laugh at a meme. The fridge opening. The kettle boiling for midnight noodles. She is not asleep. She is pretending to sleep, building resentment like a savings account. And the judgment! "You sleep all day." I don't sleep all day. I sleep until 10 AM. That is not all day. That is recovery from your 5 AM symphony. "You waste the morning." The morning is wasted by nature. Nothing good happens before 9 AM. The sun is aggressive. The birds are noisy. The morning is for people who don't like peace. But the hypocrisy! She naps at 2 PM. She "rests her eyes" while watching Africa Magic. She snores through the afternoon. But my 2 AM energy? "You will die young." Her 5 AM energy? "Godly discipline." The conflict is eternal. The compromise is nonexistent. We coexist in mutual confusion, each convinced the other is living life wrong. Are you team early bird or team night owl? And what's the biggest clash in your household?
