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The Relationship Between House Helps and Madams in Nigeria
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Yasadhh
78 days agoIn many Nigerian households, house helps (domestic workers) play a crucial role — they cook, clean, run errands, sometimes even help with childcare. The madam (the lady of the house) often relies heavily on them to keep the home running smoothly, especially in busy urban centers like Lagos, Abuja, or Port Harcourt.
But the relationship can be complex.
Power Dynamics:
The madam usually holds a lot of authority. She pays the house help, sets the rules, and expects loyalty and hard work. On the flip side, house helps often depend on the madam for their livelihood, and this creates an imbalance where the help might tolerate unfair treatment just to keep their job.
Communication Gaps:
Sometimes madams don’t explain tasks clearly, expecting the house help to “just know” what to do. Meanwhile, house helps might be too afraid or shy to ask questions or clarify instructions — because asking might be seen as challenging authority.
Trust Issues:
This is a big one. There can be suspicion from the madam’s side—about money, privacy, or even loyalty. On the house help’s side, there might be fear of being accused unfairly or misunderstood. This lack of trust can lead to tension, even if both sides want a good working relationship.
Cultural Expectations:
Many house helps come from rural areas and might have different customs or ways of doing things. The madam, especially in a city, might expect “modern” standards or have little patience for cultural differences. This gap can sometimes cause friction.
Respect and Boundaries:
When both madam and house help respect each other’s roles and maintain clear boundaries, things run smoother. Some madams treat their helps like family—giving time off, celebrating birthdays, and even supporting their education. Those relationships thrive on mutual respect.
What Could Help?
Clear Communication: Madam explaining exactly what’s expected, and encouraging the house help to ask questions if unsure.
Mutual Respect: Both recognizing the value the other brings.
Fair Treatment: Prompt pay, reasonable work hours, and kindness go a long way.
Building Trust: Transparency on both sides