The questions changed. "When are you marrying?" became "Why are you not married?" became "Don't you want children?" The tone shifted from curiosity to concern to subtle accusation. Being single in your 30s in Nigeria is a social position. You are the cautionary tale at weddings. The prayer point at family meetings. The "don't end up like" in parental warnings. Your independence is interpreted as failure. Your choice is interpreted as problem. And the pressure is gendered but universal. Women hear about eggs and clocks. Men hear about responsibility and maturity. Both hear about the neighbor's child who "settled down." The comparison is relentless. The timeline is enforced. But the reality is complex. Some are healing from trauma. Some are building careers. Some have not found the right person. Some have found the right person at the wrong time. Some simply do not want what others want. The reasons are valid but rarely accepted. The peace comes from owning your narrative. From building a life that satisfies you, not spectators. From finding community with others who are also "behind schedule" by society's clock. The single 30s are not a waiting room; they are a life. How do you handle the pressure if you're single in your 30s? And what would you tell someone struggling with it?
