We need to talk about the silent w@r in every Nigerian WhatsApp group. The mommy Olympics. "My 3-year-old can read chapter books." "My son is in a gifted program in London." "My daughter speaks French and Mandarin." "We only eat organic." It is exhausting. It is performative. And it is damaging children. I was part of this madness. I enrolled my 4-year-old in coding, ballet, chess, and violin simultaneously. Not because she asked. Because I saw another mother's post and felt inadequate. My daughter started having anxiety. She would cry before classes. She told her teacher, "I am tired of being perfect." I broke down. We have turned parenting into a brand-building exercise. Our children are not humans; they are content. We post their achievements to validate our own worth. We push them beyond their limits to win invisible trophies. And when they burn out at 16, we call them lazy. The irony? The children we are competing over will not remember their "achievements." They will remember our stress. They will remember being loved conditionally — only when they performed. I have pulled my daughter out of three classes. We bake cookies now. We dance in the living room. We are unremarkable on Instagram. But we are happy. Are you a competitive parent? Be honest. And adult children, did your parents' pressure help you or haunt you? Let's unpack the trauma of high-achievement parenting.