Things we all secretly do but never admit 🧵
1.Pretending to text just to avoid someone in public 😭
“Oh hey… didn’t see you there, I was texting my… uhh, dentist.”
2.Saying “I’ll watch one more episode” at 11:59 PM…
Next thing you know, it’s 3:17 AM and you’re deep in Season 4.
3.Replaying arguments in the shower and absolutely DESTROYING the imaginary version of them 💅
“Should’ve said that… would’ve ended their whole career.”
4.Opening the fridge 10 times like something new will magically appear 💀
5.Clearing your browser history not because it’s bad, but because it’s embarrassingly random.
“Can a potato feel pain?”
“How to make a decision”
“Do ants sleep?”
6.Typing “lol” but your face is like this 😐
7.Reading a message, overthinking your reply for hours… then forgetting to reply entirely.
8.Getting ready for bed at 10 PM but accidentally scrolling until 1 AM because the "For You" page was extra For You.
9.Telling people “I’m on my way” while you’re still in bed 😭
10.Rehearsing phone calls in your head like it’s a TED Talk.
“Yes, I’d like to book a… oh no,
I said it wrong. Let’s start again.”
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24 days agoThings we all secretly do but never admit 🧵
1.Pretending to text just to avoid someone in public 😭
“Oh hey… didn’t see you there, I was texting my… uhh, dentist.”
2.Saying “I’ll watch one more episode” at 11:59 PM…
Next thing you know, it’s 3:17 AM and you’re deep in Season 4.
3.Replaying arguments in the shower and absolutely DESTROYING the imaginary version of them 💅
“Should’ve said that… would’ve ended their whole career.”
4.Opening the fridge 10 times like something new will magically appear 💀
5.Clearing your browser history not because it’s bad, but because it’s embarrassingly random.
“Can a potato feel pain?”
“How to make a decision”
“Do ants sleep?”
6.Typing “lol” but your face is like this 😐
7.Reading a message, overthinking your reply for hours… then forgetting to reply entirely.
8.Getting ready for bed at 10 PM but accidentally scrolling until 1 AM because the "For You" page was extra For You.
9.Telling people “I’m on my way” while you’re still in bed 😭
10.Rehearsing phone calls in your head like it’s a TED Talk.
“Yes, I’d like to book a… oh no,
I said it wrong. Let’s start again.”