This is going to trigger some people, but it needs to be said. I went on a date last weekend with a guy I met on Instagram. Nice profile, seemed educated, works in oil and gas. He took me to a fancy restaurant in Lekki Phase 1. The bill came to about ₦45,000. I offered to split it because I always do on first dates — I don't like owing anyone anything. He refused and paid everything. I thanked him genuinely. Two days later, he started sending me messages at midnight asking when I am "coming to appreciate him properly." When I ignored him, he became hostile. He started calculating everything he spent: "I bought you steak, I bought you wine, I even ordered dessert for you, and you can't even spend one night?" Then he had the audacity to say, "All these Lagos girls are the same — you eat a man's money and run." Excuse me? I OFFERED to pay my half. He refused. Now he is acting like he invested in a startup and is demanding returns? Since when did a date become a down payment for sex? This mentality is everywhere — in offices, in churches, in campuses. A man helps you with transport fare and suddenly he owns your weekend. He buys you a phone and suddenly he monitors your location. He pays your school fees and suddenly you can't break up without fear. The worst part? Other women will blame you. "Why did you accept the date if you didn't like him?" "You should have known his intentions." So a woman is supposed to predict the future and decline every dinner invitation because a man might turn transactional? No. The problem is not women accepting dates. The problem is men who see women as vending machines — insert money, receive body. Ladies, have you experienced this? And men, can you honestly defend this mindset? Let's argue with our chests.
